My Lunar-versary

Alexis and Joanna, today marks a huge milestone for me. This post is my 28th, which means I have completed my first month of blog posts. This may not seem like a big deal but for me, it’s huge. You see, I have a tendency to start stuff and not finish it. For example, in the 10 years that I was the video editor for Reality Student Ministries, I only completed one of the many video series I began. To be honest, the only things I seem to be able to finish are video games…and up until recently, even those were hit and miss.

When I considered beginning this blog, I was hesitant to tell anyone about it. I didn’t want it to be another project I started and abandoned. I decided to take it slow and begin by writing a post every day for a week, just to see if I could. When I accomplished that, I decided to share this blog with the world. And here we are, four weeks later. Thus far, I have only missed one night. Not too shabby, huh?

Along the way, I have learned a couple of interesting things. First, I learned that the old adage about writing is true, “writers need to write.”  By imposing a daily posting schedule, I needed to write about something each day. Granted, I gave myself some training wheels by assigning topics to each day. However, some days I just didn’t feel like writing about say, video games. The only way I could overcome that was to sit down and just start typing. After about an hour of typing and re-typing, I could finally get something on the screen. (Whether it was good or not, I’m probably not the one to judge.)

The other thing I learned was that I couldn’t really predict what people would want to read about. A little later, I’ll be posting about some of the most viewed articles. Jenn and I attempted to predict what would attract people’s attention. In some cases, we were correct.  But there are some we didn’t expect to be quite as popular. Whenever you girls read this, you’ve got to let me know what you liked. I’ll literally have been wating years to find out.

For the rest of you, I am going to be ending my one month celebratory post by going over the three posts that have received the most attention (or as it has been referred to by Jeff of bestjeffever.com, my greatest hits).  Hopefully, I have gained some new readers and you may have missed these. Let’s start with the post that has the most hits: “Welcome to our Family Time,” my initial post describing the blog and its intentions. The title is a reference to the theme song of my favorite Disneyland parade.  As I alluded to earlier, this post describes the reason and format for the blog. If you are curious as to what my post will be about that day, refer back to this post to find out.

Next up is the first post in my ongoing write-up of the history of Ultimate Championship Wrestling.  Secret Origins Part I: From Humble Beginnings tells the story of how the concept of UCW evolved from a video series about puppets into the phenomenon it is today. Well, maybe phenomenon is overstating it a bit. Nevertheless, according to the numbers, the story is at least very interesting. And if you agree, as of this writing, there are two more parts of the story, with more on the way.

Finally, there is the post that I think is the perfect way to end my lunar-versary. Heavenly Israeli Bunches details the many reasons that I love my wife. The title stems from the term that Jennifer used to describe how much she loved me. In a sermon, Pastor C explained that bunches of grapes in Israel at the time of Joshua were larger than normal. Jenn took that and explained that the grapes in Heaven would be even larger. Hence the amount of love Jenn had for me. If you can handle the sappiness, give it a try.

Thanks for reading this and for checking out the blog over the last month. They say that when you do something for 30 days, it becomes a habit. In about two days, this blog will become a permanent fixture of my life…and nothing would make me happier.

Secret Origins Part III: March Madness

 

The crew for the first March Madness - Post Show

 

Last week I talked about the beginnings of Ultimate Championship Wrestling. After the successes of Thrash-N-Bash and One Night Stand, Paul, Tony, Pastor Vic, and I were eager to do more with wrestling. We had a meeting and it was decided that we would do something unheard of: we would put on a pro wrestling-style event at the church.

The basic premise was simple. For the low price of $3, we would sell tickets for people to come and watch our show. All of the money that would come in would go to Speed-the Light, the missionary-funding arm of the Assemblies of God (the fellowship that our church belongs to.)  Pastor Vic would handle the logistics. All we would have to worry about was putting on the show.  For that, we needed help.

The first thing we had to do was find more wrestlers. Jared Johnson, known in UCW as Seven, wanted to return.  My brother, Victor, was up for participating again. However he wanted to change his name. At the time, he was really into the “Godfather” movies, so he decided to become a mob character. Not being Italian, he decided he would go for the next closest thing: hence he became Scarface. We were up to four wrestlers. We knew that four wrestlers meant that at most we would be able to have three matches like we had at Thrash and Bash. We simply needed more wrestlers. Like in actual professional wrestling, we would start by recruiting from within our family.

Dino Munoz was a young man who was as into wrestling as we were. Tony and he had developed a close friendship based on their mutual attraction the “gangsta” lifestyle that was popular a few years ago. After seeing what Tony, Paul, Jared, and Victor had done in the months prior, Dino jumped at the chance to join in. Dino’s character would be Low-Die, a play on the name of a then-current World Championship Wrestling character named Lodi. His character? Well, he didn’t have much of one, other than he was tough. He would join Seven and fellow newcomer Tracy Barton (now Martinez), nicknamed Anna Conda.  Anna’s character would change over the course of her tenure in UCW, but at the first March Madness, she was just a stereotypical grunge girl. Together they were known as Kraven’s Flock. ( The name was basically stolen from WCW group, Raven’s flock.)

The final wrestler came from one of our friends. Eli Whatley was an interesting guy. He was the type who always wanted to get in on something new and exciting. So he volunteered to be our sixth man. Eli’s character name would be Desperado and would be based on the character from the movie of the same name. In hindsight, it was a funny choice considering the character was Mexican and Eli was pasty white.)  Eli and Victor would become a team, known as the The Twin Cities Cartel. The name came from joke name that Pastor Vic and Victor were going to assign to a fake drug cartel in one of their videos. We now had enough wrestlers to put together a show.

The basic storyline for the show was simple. March Madness was being presented by a former UCW World Heavyweight Champion, Vegas Vic, a.k.a. Pastor Vic. The main event would be Tony Dreamer vs. Kraven in a re-match for the UCW World Heavyweight title.  The undercard would consist of Desperado vs. Seven, Low-Die vs. masked wrestler The Dragon (Tony in a mask), and Seven & Low-Die, representing Kraven’s Flock, vs. the Twin Cities Cartel for the UCW Tag Team Titles. And like at One Night Stand, Dave Diggs and I, in my role as commentator David Alexander, would provide live commentary.

In preparation for the big event, we would make some much-needed alterations to the “ring”. Instead of four steel chairs, we would have ring poles and ring ropes. Of course, for us, ”ring poles” consisted of four PVC pipes and the “ring ropes”  were actual ropes covered in foam and wrapped in black electrical tape. The fragile nature of the rope-pole necessitated us drilling into everyone who participated that under no circumstances could someone touch them. Paul, Tony, and Eli also built a set for the event, using the metal skeleton of a tent used by Sidewalk Sunday School, and some old dividers. We asked a person Pastor Vic knew, whose name escapes me at the moment, to be our referee. He wore a simple black shirt and, because of the small size of the ring, he would have to officiate the match from the outside. Pastor Michael D. Ciociola, our church’s Fine Arts pastor, dressed in his finest tuxedo, would be our ring announcer. The crowning touches were UCW signs, one made from foam, the other made of a white bed sheet and spray paint. Looking back on it now, it seems corny at best, but at the time, we were really excited to have it.

The show began at 7 that night. The 150 people in the room listened to an introduction by Pastor Vic as he tried to prepare the crowd for what they were about to see. As he closed his spiel, he transformed into Vegas Vic and March Madness began. The show opened with yours truly interviewing Tony Dreamer. I climbed in the ring, microphone in hand and announced to everyone that Dreamer was here. The rumble of a monster from outside the gym signaled his arrival. He climbed into the ring and proceeded to address the crowd. As Dreamer spoke and announced his intentions of winning the World Title from Kraven, Kraven and his Flock appeared to confront Dreamer. Dreamer was eager to take them on but I did not want a confrontation. I called for security to escort the Flock to the back. Once order had been restored, Dreamer exited.

Low-Die vs. the Dragon was the match that opened the show. Youth Leader, Scott Tuttle accompanied the Dragon to the ring as his manager, Super Scotty Tuttle. Even with Scott backing him, the Dragon ended up tapping to Low-Die’s finishing move, a Texas-Cloverleaf hold named Snake-Eyes. The next match featured Seven, accompanied by Anna Conda,  vs. Desperado. Desperado fought valiantly, even lifting Seven on his back for a submission hold known as the torture rack. However, Seven was the better man that night as he pinned Desperado.

Next up was our half-time. As the sounds of DC Talk’s “Free At Last” began to play over the gym speakers, Tony and Paul, dressed in black 70′s-style leisure suits, black afro wigs, and fake goatees entered to the roar of the crowd. They began to dance and entertain the people. After their act, Pastor Vic came out and spoke for a few moments about Jesus and presented what we believe.

After half-time, we had the first of our two title matches. Scarface and Desperado came and attempted to endear themselves to the crowd by giving out high-fives. The fans, however, did not want any part of them.  Scarface attempted to win over the crowd by explaining that the scar on his face was giving to him by Kraven’s Flock. Still, they booed him. Scarface snapped. He proceeded to insult the crowd before finally giving away the microphone.  The change of heart seemed to do the Twin Cities Cartel good. They beat Seven and Low-Die and became the first UCW World Tag Team Champions.

The Twin Cities Cartel coming out of the March Madness Entrance

 

It was finally time for the March Madness main event. Tony Dreamer entered and covered the UCW sheet with his own Tony Dreamer banner, further irritating Vegas Vic. Kraven then entered, but he decided to forgo using the Flock as his back-up. Sending them away, he chose to face Dreamer one-on-one. That match was easily the best on the card and far better (not to mention shorter) than their encounter at Thrash-N-Bash.  Kraven applied his finishing move, a direct copy of the Stone Cold Stunner, known as the Scream, followed by his submission hold, the Kraven Deathlock.  However, Dreamer fought back and using his finishing move, the One Way Ticket to Dreamland, became the second UCW World Heavyweight Champion.

The night did not end there. Vegas Vic climbed in the ring and refused to award Dreamer the title. Dreamer and Vegas proceeded battle inside and outside the ring. It seemed that Vegas Vic had the upper hand until Tony leapt off a nearby scaffolding set up and broke the foam UCW sign over Vic’s head. The Flock came out to attack Dreamer while the Twin Cities Cartel and Super Scotty Tuttle came out to help him. The brawl extended outside the ring and ended when Dreamer placed the announcer’s table in the ring and, using it as a launchpad, landed on everyone on the outside.

Dreamer Flying at March Madness

 

Dreamer climbed back inside the ring, stood on the table and posed for the fans. Kraven then rolled back in, and in a show of good sportsmanship, handed Dreamer the belt and hugged him. The night ended with both men posing in the ring as the fans left happy. Our first live event was a success. We had proved this idea could work. The only question was: what could we do to top it?

Secret Origins II: The Road to March Madness

Last week we talked a bit about how a youth group video series featuring a group of puppets named the NEO created Yuba-Sutter’s longest-running wrestling ministry. Pastor Vic had agreed to allow Paul and Tony to present a match during the New Year’s Eve all-night event named Thrash-N-Bash. Looking back on that first event, over a decade ago, it’s easy to see the seeds for what UCW is today were being planted.

In a meeting during Christmas Break, Paul, Tony, Victor, Pastor Vic and myself discussed what we should call this match. We wanted to name this crazy thing we were doing. A few names were tossed around but, taking inspiration from the pro wrestling company that helped motivate what we were doing, we finally settled on Ultimate Championship Wrestling or UCW. With the initial match and a name for what we were doing  set, Pastor Vic, Paul, and Tony decided that rather than just have one match, there would be a tournament to determine a champion. In between activities during Thrash-N-Bash, there would be two qualifying matches and a final match where the winner would be the UCW World Heavyweight Champion. So who would be in this tournament?

Tony and Paul were a given. It was already determined that they would be the final match.  Victor would be one of the other contenders as a nod to the NEO. The fourth and final participant was one of Paul and Victor’s good friends named Jared Johnson. Each one would need their own pro wrestling identities so they spent some time coming up with their characters. Tony decided he would become Tony Dreamer, from San Jose. The name was based on then-ECW wrestler Tommy Dreamer, but his character would be based on WWE superstar ”Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Paul’s name would be Kraven, who’s demeanor was based on ECW wrestler Raven, although the name was based on horror director Wes Craven (don’t ask). In a cheap attempt to get a visiting youth group to cheer for him, he decided he would hail from Napa, the city the youth group was coming from (the youth group ended up not showing up, so it was for not). Victor took the name and character of a Chris Farley sketch from Saturday Night Live called El Nino. Jared’s character was the closest we had to an original wrestler. He was named Seven and was a supposed to be psychotic (which, it turned out, was not too far from the truth.)

With the first UCW characters set, the guys went about creating the matches. Looking back on it now, everything about UCW was, well, low-rent. Our “ring” was a single, metal, rectangular stage piece. Our “turnbuckles” were four metal folding chairs. And the belt they were fighting for? A weight belt, spray-painted black, with UCW written on a piece of paper attached to it. It shouldn’t have worked. But it did.

The reason it worked is because, to be frank, the guys worked their butts off. They practiced their matches for days leading up to the event. They were determined to put on the best show they knew how. I still have the footage of the matches and have watched them since then. Most of the “moves” were some variations of punches and kick, with the occasional leg drop thrown in. The one thing they did that made it entertaining was they played to the crowd. Even though the crowd was not a wrestling crowd, they reacted to everything that was going on.

The storyline for the night was simple. In the first  round of the tournament, Kraven would face El Nino and Dreamer would face Seven. Kraven would rather easily beat El Nino and Dreamer would defeat Seven. Both matches were really short, no more than about 5 minutes each. Then the main event came.

The match the tournament final was based on.

 

 In an ironic twist, Kraven and Dreamer’s match ended up lasting longer than the match it was based on. They ended up fighting all around the gym: around Tracy Martinez (then Barton, who will come into play later) and her friend were laying in their sleeping bags; onto the volleyball ref stands; near the commentators (David Diggs and Rick Tuttle); anywhere they could. Finally, nearly 30 minutes later, Kraven was crowned the first UCW World Heavyweight champion. And I watched it, from high atop my perch, operating the spotlight.

Most people assume that after that first event, it was straight into March Madness. Well, there was a short stop, on the road there. While everyone enjoyed the first set of UCW matches, we didn’t think there was going to be anything else. However in February, Pastor Vic scheduled a Valentine’s Day event. As a joke, we asked him if we could have a match there. To our surprise, he said yes. Thus we planned out a single match, tongue-in-cheek titled: UCW’s One Night Stand.

As well as the first night went, the second did not. Plans that were scheduled did come to fruition, egos flared, and to top it off, the power went out at the church, which meant the Valentine’s event stood the chance of being canceled. UCW was in danger of ending before it began. The only reason I am writing about it today is because of a conversation that Paul, Tony and I had in the boys bathroom of the gym as Paul was putting on his make-up (You know, I don’t think that will be the weirdest sentence I’ll be writing about UCW). I don’t remember exactly what it was that was said. I do remember Paul arguing passionately that the match needed to go on.  Because Paul believed in UCW, that night we had a match.

There were still some kinks to be worked out with the characters. When Dreamer came out at Thrash-N-Bash, he emulated Austin as much as possible. However, Stone Cold had tendency to flip off the crowd as part of his entrance. Naturally, Tony couldn’t do that. Instead, when Tony came out, he raised his left hand and brought his palm down in the crook of his also-upraised right hand, curled into a fist. This maneuver was also known as “Up Yours”. Not exactly the kind of thing you want someone doing at a church function. We explained this to Tony, but a youth leader named Scott Tuttle remained a little over-anxious about it. To this day, we still laugh about the number of times he said, “Tony’s not going do that motion, is he?”

Like Thrash-N-Bash, the match that was scheduled was based on a WWE match. In this case, it would be based on Bret Hart vs. the Undertaker from Summerslam ’97.

And the match One Night Stand was based on.

Kraven would be defending the UCW World Heavyweight title against Seven. Tony Dreamer would be the special guest referee, playing the Shawn Michaels part from the match. The story of the match was that Dreamer, still bitter that Kraven was champ, wanted to screw him out his title. As the match came to a close, Dreamer attempted to hit Kraven with a steel chair but he missed and winded up striking Seven instead. Kraven then proceeded to pin Seven. Dreamer, reluctantly, counted the pinfall. And I watched it, this time from my position next to Dave Diggs at the commentators’ booth.

Following the success of that night, it was decided to take things bigger. Much bigger. It was time for the event that started it all. It was time for March Madness.

Secret Origins Part I: From Humble Beginnings

So last week, I gave you the genesis of my fascination with professional wrestling. Today, I’d like to tell you a little bit about how that hobby has turned into something tangible. You see, Twintanillas, your dad is involved in something that takes up a  considerable amount of his time. It involves three simple letters: UCW.

The history of UCW (or for those of you who are initial-phobic: Ultimate Championship Wrestling) is something I have toyed with writing for years. As the only person who has been a continual part of UCW since it’s beginning over a decade ago, I have wanted to share my perspective on the ministry that has taken up so much of my life. So my plan is to use my Monday pro-wrestling post to detail the strange tale of how three puppets spawned the longest-running youth-sponsored ministry at CCC (sorry, initial-phobes: Calvary Christian Center).

Most people will say that UCW came about when our youth group decided to sponsor a pro-wrestling-style event to raise money for Speed-The-Light, a missions funding organization. Others will say it began at a youth group all-nighter that needed to fill time as they kept students entertained till dawn. When the story is told by the old-timers, they say it began as an aunt’s suggestion to her son and nephew. But really, the real origin (the secret origin, if you will) is that UCW was birthed in felt.

In 1996, professional wrestling began it’s rebirth as a wrestler named Scott Hall, who was widely associated with the WWF, appeared on rival organization WCW’s flagship show and claimed he was taking over. This kicked off one of the hottest storylines in wrestling history, the New World Order.

Scott Hall appearing on Nitro

 

Each week more and more fans tuned in. Many of those were former fans who had fallen disenchanted with professional wrestling due to the cartoonish nature of the characters they were presented with and were drawn to the edgy personalities that were represent by the NWO. Two of those former fans were the kids who had started their love of sports entertainment at Wrestlemania 5.

My cousin Paul and I were captivated by the storyline. My brother, Victor, who was never much of a wrestling fan, thought it was intriguing enough to at least mildly pay attention to what we were talking about. As we thought more and more about the storyline, we talked to our youth pastor about it. At the time, Victor and Paul were working with the pastor, Vic, on creating videos to show during Wednesday night youth service.

Victor and Paul’s favorite activity was to stay the night at each other’s house, and using a tape recorder, create radio plays that were called, “The Late Afternoon Show.” They had decided to take two characters on from that show and, with Pastor Vic’s direction and filming, tried to translate them to the screen. It did not work well.

However Pastor Vic, Victor, and Paul did not want to give up on bringing videos to youth group. What was needed was a hook. One day Tuesday afternoon, while we were talking about the NWO, the hook was found. The youth group had recently changed its name from ”The Edge” to “The Youth Corps”. In one of those brainstorming sessions that begin with “Wouldn’t be funny if…”, it was decided that the people who were not happy at the change needed a voice. That voice would be a puppet who would parody Scott Hall who was known as Razor Ramon . The puppet’s name: Cologne.  Joined by another puppet named Crash, they would be known as the New Edge Order or the N.E.O.

The NEO made their presence known by “interrupting” the youth service , and calling out Pastor Vic. The following week, they interrupted again, this time thrashing Pastor Vic’s office. Eventually, they added as a third member the only successful character from Paul and Victor’s earlier attempts, a parody of Forest Gump named Toby Stump. In a reflection of their radio play days, Paul would voice multiple characters, including Cologne and Toby Stump, while Victor supplied the voice of Crash.

 The videos were a success. Each video would get more outlandish as the Youth Corps received it’s own defenders, who never really did anything beyond filming a wrestling style promo calling out the NEO. The NEO finally met their match in the form of a youth leader named Jason. The NEO attempted to kidnap and hold an adult leader named Cherese for ransom. Jason, her husband, channeled his rage, transformed into the maniac of Friday the 13th movies, and successfully rescued her. The NEO gathered their revenge when their leader, a person named “The Ancient One”, provided them with a weapon that would even the odds: a ray gun that transformed Jason into a puppet.

The storyline was building to a climax, planned for the New Year’s Eve lock-in named “Thrash-N-Bash”. However, that was not meant to be. Attempts to film a conclusion, revealing who was the Ancient One who had been planning the defeat of the Youth Corps, fell through. The necessary people to make it happen could not coordinate their schedules. Pastor Vic was trying to figure out something to do to fill in the time that was allotted for the NEO. Little did he or anyone else know that Paul, our cousin Tony, and our aunt Linda were having a conversation that would change the direction of the youth group forever.

Knowing how much her son and nephew loved pro wrestling, she asked them why they didn’t put Tony’s athletic skills and Paul’s charisma together to fill the time with a match. Paul initially thought she meant having  the puppets perform the match. Realizing that Linda meant Paul and Tony should wrestle each other in the same manner as the men they watched on television, they began to work on putting together a match based on the Bret Hart-Steve Austin match from Wrestlemania that year. They presented the idea to Pastor Vic. And from the ashes of the NEO, UCW was born.

That concludes our installment for this week. Next week, we’ll look at Secret Origins Part II: The Road to March Madness.